Hey Guys,
I’ve been a little late in posting with some good reason. I’ve been writing. Lafonda and Leo: Heroes of the Land is coming along nicely.
Update on SPFBO
I want to make this post positive, but I’m not feeling the best right now. My review came back from the SPFBO through Fantasy Hive and it was disheartening and discouraging to say the least.
I didn’t think I’d win at all, but I didn’t expect it being that bad. Guess I can surprise myself.
The feelings mix between anger, frustration, and depression. I don’t know what to do and take it from here, and “why can’t I do anything right?” Seeing something I’d worked months, literally eight-hour days, and sleepless nights to craft, be stepped on and picked apart so easily, stung. Again I expected this, but not at all this bad.
I don’t want to comment on it too much. It’s still fresh, and I’d hate to say something I’ll regret. Some of my opinions are strong, and I’d rather not it read again just yet. One snippet felt like they forgot there’s a person behind the book.
Most of the comments were blunt, but fair.
Honesty, I’d rather know I have a bad book than not, but a few statements irked me as if my book was a spectacle like bafflingly atrocious. One line felt below the belt in its delivery. And yes, I realize it’s a joke, but I’m not laughing, and I’ll leave it at that.
The rest were fine and closer to the attitude I was expecting. Some judges were even polite enough to give examples with constructive remarks. So thank you.
Afterwards, I asked some questions. The judges were extraordinarily nicer in person. Very responsive and reassuring. Thanks to the three of you who reached out to me. I still can’t say it’s not soul-crushing though.
Yesterday, I almost posted an update, but have since kept the older draft as an example of what not to do. Everything’s still fresh.
I’ll let you check out their article for yourselves to form your own opinions. I’m not sure whether to link it. Personally, I don’t want to look at it again, but I feel it’s important I’m transparent with my books. I want to put out the best stories possible.
In other news
Some other news, I entered another short story contest last weekend with Short Fiction Break. Naturally, I’m not feeling at all confident now. I’ll try to link to it when I hear anything.
I had a great conversation with a friend about how my books inspired them to try their hand. I was debating writing an article breaking down some more story structure because of it. Let me know if there’s interest.
Moving Forward?
I’m honestly not sure where to take it from here and don’t feel like writing. Book three is going in the trash at this point. I had it plotted and almost fifteen chapters in, but if only one of the five said they were interested in Sinopa’s backstory, it’s a bad sign. And that’s twenty percent of the book in mind you. I have no words.
I feel terrible as an author. It’s like this is want to do. I want to write for a living, leave this disgusting day job and clack away at a keyboard until I’m dead, but no one seems to want to read my books. Maybe I’m not good enough, and it’s frustrating. While I’d like to rephrase this as “not there yet,” it doesn’t make it easier.
Now, before anyone says anything, I’m not quitting. I would’ve quitted long ago had I thought this would be easy. It’s just hard to move forward. Part of me yesterday wanted to pull my books from the shelves to save myself the embarrassment because what didn’t they hate.
Today, I don’t think I’d go that far, but I think the books might need an overhaul, an editorial pass, or something. I don’t know yet. I’ve dumped thousands into these books on my pennies for a job and don’t know if I can afford it. There’s a lot of certainties right now.
The Veldt
A couple posts ago I promised the next section of “The Veldt,” and don’t know if anyone’s still interested. Drop a comment, if you do and I can make it its own separate post because I’m not sure how long I’ll keep this one up. I enjoyed having an exclusive story with just you guys, though.
Concluding Remarks
I was feeling great this weekend. Writing-wise, that is. (Food poisoning sucks, lol.) Going Rogue was off to the judges, I knocked three chapters out of the park, and I was building up to the home stretch. Now I’m lacking assurance in my writing. Do I put out the next one after this?
“Lafonda and Leo” prides itself on comedy and the narrator breaking the fourth wall addressing the audience. Both of which were ill received. I wrote it as the middle grade antithesis to the darker Vestige Saga. Hopefully, it will find someone who likes it, right? I just don’t know.
I need to keep moving, walk it off, and hope I get better. Maybe someone will like my books, but after a review like that it feels hardly likely. Who’d want to? Vestige could be dead. I love the characters and the world I’ve created, but it might not worth investing in if others feel the opposite.
Thanks to the judges of Fantasy Hive for giving me a chance. Hopefully next year I can knock your socks off. I want to prove I’m an author. I just gotta try harder.
Maybe this is a good kick in the pants. After all, hatred of the fast food industry, and spiting people who said I couldn’t do it, fueled Vestige. So maybe this can be just the nitrous oxide I need. But I also want to make clear I hold no ill will towards the judges, lol. Next year I’ll be ready, and if not then, soon. It’ll be something new.
I’m still working through this, so bear with me, guys. Today I’m feeling a lot better, and I’m trying to remain positive. It’s complicated.
Until next time, keep writing.
I’ll try to do the same.
Antonio
Antonio –
I’m so sorry to hear that some judges took the wind out of your sails. They must not adhere to the OREO method of feedback like we learned at the Write Practice.
Hopefully, they gave you some tips as to how to make your work better instead of just shooting it down. Don’t give up on Sinopa – hers is a story worth telling.
Lori
Hi Lori,
No, they’re not bound by OREO at all.
There’s some I can apply, but it’s gonna be put on hold until their financially feasible.
I agree Sinopa’s story is worth telling and I feel passionate about my characters even when other don’t. But for book three, I may need some time to think.
I need to examine my options, and take it from there. I want Sinopa to have the hard fought happy ending with Max, but sadly not many seem interested in even starting her journey. And this is outside of what the judges said.
We’ll see. I need to think it over. I’d like to finish the series. There’s so many scenes in my head I really want to get on paper.
Thanks for your kind words,
Antonio
Hi Antonio,
Wow, I’m crying for you, with you, or because of you. I don’t know which, but I know I’ve been cut down to the core by judges and mentors. That sucks.
First off, throw that nasty judge’s remarks out. He was unfair, and that’s plain bullsh&t. He is one opinion amongst millions, and he should learn the oreo method. When you get right down to it, there is only one opinion that matters: yours.
The fairer judges were making comments to make your book better. Yeah, you’ll have to study these to either redo your first book or take it to your next book. When you do, remember you had a positive review. Nice.
I give you kudos for entering this contest, helping us with your transparency, and continuing your writing. A mentor once told me the most successful writers aren’t the best writers; they are the ones who don’t quit. That’s you. Most writers with many books under their belt laugh at their first book. As Joe Bunting says, the way you get better is through practice. I know your writing, and you are super creative, plus you have a knack for punch lines.
I hope you feel better now that you’ve had some healing time. Hey, you wrote a book.
Bravo,
Diane
Hi Diane,
I do feel a bit better now, thank you.
I agree a lot her feedback wasn’t helpful and now I have to comb through the good stuff now. Most of it seems like it’s gonna take some time to apply, but I can definitely use it on what I’m writing now.
Thanks for your encouragement,
Antonio